1. Get Ready (5 minutes) Turn your oven up to 375°F and get out the old liner and muffin tin. I learned this lesson after scraping muffin pieces off the pan for twenty minutes – use the liners! Also grab your cream cheese now if you forgot to take it out earlier like I always do.

2. Dry Ingredients (2 minutes) Dump the flour, pumpkin spice, baking soda and salt into a bowl. Whisk it around. My kids always want to help with this part because it’s impossible to mess up. Sometimes I let my 6-year-old do this while I prep everything else.

3. Wet Ingredients (5 minutes) In your biggest bowl, mix the pumpkin, both sugars, eggs, oil, and vanilla. I use a whisk but honestly, a big wooden spoon works fine too. It’ll smell like fall exploded in your kitchen – that’s when you know you’re doing it right.

4. Combine Everything (2 minutes) Pour the dry stuff into the wet stuff and stir exactly 25 times. I’m dead serious about counting – my grandma taught me this and her muffins were legendary at church bake sales. Don’t worry about lumps, they’re supposed to be there.

5. Fill the Cups (2 minutes) Scoop batter into your liners, about ¾ full. I use an ice cream scoop because it’s faster and they come out more even. My sister eyeballs it and hers look like abstract art, but they still taste good.

6. Make the Swirl (3 minutes) Beat that cream cheese mixture until it’s smooth as silk. If there are lumps, your cream cheese was too cold. I’ve been there – just keep beating for another minute or start over with softer cream cheese.

7. Swirl Time (3 minutes) Plop a big spoonful of cream cheese on each muffin and swirl with a toothpick. My 8-year-old actually does this part better than me – kids have no fear of making it look “wrong.” Start from the edge and spiral in, that’s all there is to it.

8. Bake (18-20 minutes) Stick them in the oven and don’t you dare open that door for at least 15 minutes. I peek through the window like I’m watching my favorite show. Test with a toothpick in the pumpkin part only – the cream cheese will always look wet.

9. Cool Down (10 minutes) Let them sit in the pan for 10 minutes or they’ll fall apart when you try to take them out. I set a timer because I have zero patience and will try to eat them immediately otherwise. Trust me, wait the full 10 minutes.